Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Humid Darkness

The night was humid and noticeably darker than most nights of the same lunar phase. Perhaps this was due to an irregularity in the oxygen/nitrogen mixture in the earth’s atmosphere, perhaps there was a massive alien battle cruiser parked in front of the moon, or perhaps I had simply forgotten to take off my sunglasses. Whatever the reason, I found myself wandering through the moist night air without any idea as to where I was going. Every now and then, a tiny flash of light would appear in the blackness and I would make an adjustment to my route hoping to find some avenue of non-ignorance as to the factual basis of my current location. And that’s when it hit me…or perhaps I hit it, I’m not really sure because as soon as it happened, everything went blacker than it was before. 

As I lie there unable to move and unsure if I was even still conscious, I thought about what mysterious thing I might have collided with. After a few minutes I concluded that my ordeal had to have been caused by one of three possibilities: (1) A slave merchant who had now succeeded in capturing me and is currently loading my limp body on to a riverboat bound for Wyoming. (2) The aforementioned alien battle cruiser sent down a reconnaissance vessel that, while trying to abduct me, missed with their tractor beam and accidentally abducted the manhole cover I was walking straight toward. Or (3), a parked ice cream truck. Whatever the cause, here I was just killing time unable to communicate with the outside world. I tried to play a game of sudoku in my head but i soon found that the human mind is worth less than paper and a pencil when playing number games. I’m not sure exactly how long I remained in this state or what the long term side effects will be, all I know is I woke up this morning and it was Wednesday.

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