Rabbit Trails

I was fully prepared for what didn't happen. My focus and attention where moving in harmony with one another as if dancing to a legato waltz in the key of A. As my readiness level reached its maximum I contemplated the existence of a scale for measuring such levels in humans. Clearly there would be outside factors that would affect the scale; adrenaline, bodily functions, external objects or forces, etc. Catching myself, I realized that my thinking about the scale had in turn lowered my attentions to the task at hand by distracting my mind. 

I then added branches to the scale chart in my mind that were meant to represent the rabbit trails of human thought not unlike the one I had just experienced. This further confirmed my idea as I noticed that once again my thoughts had turned away from my goal and toward a mental tangent about mental tangents. Re-focusing my focus I attempted to block all outside stimuli from my brain only to realize that the main source of distraction was in my brain itself. My thoughts visualized a long tunnel I assumed to be a representation of tunnel vision and all the implications therein. If only there was a way for me to generate precise, directed tunnel vision toward the thing which my subconscious knew to be the priority. 

My conscious seemed to be bored with that objective and was resisting with all its might to find something else to dwell on. In that moment I realized that the task I was attempting to perform was not something that I wanted to do, but rather something I needed to do. The distinction came as a stark contrast that was shocking even to me as the truth of the situation became known. Had I just not been being honest with myself? Or had desire to do what I should overshadowed the desire to do what I want? Suddenly, a lady walked in to the classroom and said "Professor Brock is sick at home and will not be coming in. Exam day had been cancelled."